Things I learned in 2017:

I learned to be unapologetically me. To love what I love and not let others try to bring me down. This is me, you can accept me for me, or leave. I won’t change to suit others. Here’s even a blog post on learning this lesson.

I also learned to put myself first. All of my life I would put others before me- it’s the therapist in me. I would want others to be happy and to achieve things, but I would put myself on the back burner. I acknowledged this and decided to make a change. If I was tired, I wouldn’t go out with friends. If I needed to study, I would work on my own stuff before doing things for others. It was my time to start focusing on myself more.

A message to myself:

You may believe that with your ED and depression that you cannot make any progress. You cannot grow. You cannot change. You cannot learn. You’re stuck. It’s consumed you.

This is false.

Although your ED and depression are a large part of your life right now, does not mean you are incapable of bettering yourself. Having small, minimal goals are possible to achieve this year.

Now, for 2018, I’ll place some goals on myself to achieve this year. I have an entire year to slowly work towards them.

  1. I want to be content. There was a moment after I had been with a boy, when my heart was so full and the main thing I felt was contentment.
  2. This is the year of trying new things. Eating new foods, exploring new places, listening to new music- and not being afraid of doing so.
  3. To go along with that, I want to learn something new, outside of school, at least once a month.
  4. I want to read one book each month.
  5. I want to find happiness in small things, acknowledge these things, and never let them go.

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